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Sermon - January 31st, 2010
Showing Kindness: Part 3
Rev. Gwen Drake
1 Cor. 13
Prayer of Preparation: We give thanks, O God of sacred stories, for the witness of your word today. Through Scripture you challenge our assumptions, increase our awareness, nurture our imaginations, and touch our feelings. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O God, our creator and redeemer. Amen.
The love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, written by the Apostle Paul, read at weddings, and all kinds of occasions. Religious and non-religious people know about the love chapter in the Bible.
Paul was addressing a church where the people were not getting along with each other. He had heard this from Chloe’s family. People were divided, picking sides, and fighting with each other. There was the Paul group, the Apollos group, the Peter group, and the Messiah group. They clearly were falling apart and needing help! So Paul wrote them this letter, a parental letter. He had written other letters to them. He had sent Timothy to them. Then, this letter that said it all. He told them Christ was the center, the message, the miracle, not him or anyone else. He said, if you are going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God. Put Jesus first, who he is and what he did!
Paul was a little frustrated with them. He said they were behaving like children. He said, being a Christian is a gift, a privilege, not a possession. He was writing as a father writing to his children, wanting them to grow up, and grow up well. Clean up your own house, he said. It is quite a letter with a lot in it, including chapter 12, about body parts and the Body of Christ, many gifts, one Spirit, we need all of us. Then comes the high point of the whole letter—the love chapter. Love, the glue that holds us together. Paul uses the Greek word agape which means self-less love, sacrificial love.
He says, Love, without it, you have nothing. You are bankrupt without love, are the words that Eugene Peterson puts in Paul’s mouth. Today is my last sermon of this series on showing kindness, using Peiro Ferrucci’s book, The Power of Love. Paul and Ferrucci used similar words to describe love and kindness. For example Paul says, love is patient. Ferrucci says patience is a quality of kindness. He says, “I am convinced that if we practice patience, we come to understand profound aspects of other people’s lives. We understand their rhythms and their weaknesses, thereby knowing their nature intimately….If we rush, we may lose ourselves. But we are so used to hurrying that we do not notice the loss.” Ferrucci names our rushing and hurrying as the demon of haste. We warns us, being in a hurry all the time causes us to forget what is truly important, our dreams, our wonder.
So, he says, the next time you are pacing or waiting impatiently in traffic for something or someone, next time you are hurrying your spouse or your child, next time you forgetting to breathe in your haste, ask yourself this question: Where did you leave your soul? Where did you leave your soul?
Kindness has a slow pace. Our accelerated pace of living has helped to bring on what Ferrucci calls an ice age of the heart. We are under pressure. We cannot afford to waste even a second. We want immediate gratification. We want instant results. We are getting more and more impatient. Time is running out….. Patience! Could it be that our need to hurry has to do with our fear of death? Or our fear of not having enough time to get done what we need to get done? Are we afraid of running out of time? Patience. Love is patient. When we free ourselves from the need to get there first, to do more, to earn more, then the people and the things we get impatient with will no longer appear as obstacles to our urgency. We will feel kinder toward them and ourselves. Patience. Love is patient and kind.
Love is also not boastful or jealous or envious. Sounds like humility to me. When we are aware of our strengths and our weaknesses, we are less likely to flaunt how clever we are. Humility is the opposite of insecurity and arrogance. We all know people who are always trying to prove themselves.
One of Goya’s etchings shows an aged man, and underneath are two words, Aun aprendo, or “I am still learning.” That is humility. Humility is linked to being open to learning, always. In our relationship with other people, we need only to look and listen and ask ourselves, “What can I learn from this person?” Humility is self-awareness and knowing that I am not the only one around. Humility is a great strength. If you want to be your best at learning all through your life, humility is your tool. Only a humble person can be kind. Only a humble person can truly love, because kindness and love are not about one-up-man-ship. It is about everyone winning. Humility helps us find our place in the universe and make room for others. We absolutely need humility in our country, in our politics, in all our relationships. Kindness without humility is something else…I’m not sure what. Self-righteousness, arrogance?
Ferruci writes, “There are infinite ways, implicit or explicit, microscopic or gigantic, episodic or lasting, superficial or substantial of bringing into the life of another person some benefit, relief, cheerfulness, hope, well-being, intellectual or spiritual growth...” Being kind is not an exception in our world! It is part of our everyday interactions. Everyday acts of kindness with no expectations or agenda are acts of selfless love. It is often the little things, the tiniest ones that mean the most.
A Hebrew story tells of Reb Nachum, a selfish businessman who thinks only of making money and swindling others. One night, on his way home in a carriage, he sees by the roadside a poor farmer whose cart has wound up with its wheels in the mud. The farmer is pushing, but by himself he cannot get the cart back on the road. He is dressed in his very best for the Sabbath. He is exhausted and distressed because the stuck cart won’t budge. Reb Nachum gets out of his carriage and helps the farmer push. With the two of them, it is easy work and the problem is resolved. As they are saying good-bye, Reb Nachum notices a bit of mud on the farmer’s clothes, and almost without thinking, he removes it with a flick of his hand. “Now you are ready for the Sabbath feast,” he says and leaves. He goes back to his normal life.
Many years later, Reb Nachum dies and arrives at God’s judgment, the accusing angel on one side, the defending angel on the other. The accusing angel examines his life and finds a lot of material, Reb Nachum has devoted himself only to amassing wealth, never to the care of his wife and family; he had no friends, did not help the community, committed dishonest acts, and abused his power. The angel puts it all on the accusing side of the scales, and the balance weighs heavily on that side. The angel of mercy doesn’t know what to do. He looks over and over at Reb Nachum’s life, finding nothing good: not a kind word, no act of solidarity. Suddenly, he sees the one kind act of moving the cart. In desperation, he takes the whole cart and throws it on the scales. The balance swings to and fro, for a moment seeming to stay in equilibrium, then weighing over more toward the accusing side. The angel does not know what more to do, then at last sees the bit of mud Reb Nachum had brushed off the farmer’s clothes: a tiny forgotten act of kindness. So the angel takes the little lump of mud and throws that too on the defense side of the scales. Miracle: the balance shifts. Reb Nachem is saved. This small service tipped the scale.
We never know the full domino effect of our seemingly random acts of kindness. However, if it is about gaining admiration and recognition, or to show how good we are, or to collect brownie points, we will soon give up. The power of kindness is in the act of being kind, nothing else. It is not about getting results.
Mystics and visionaries have said, each person is the whole world. Jesus said it this way, “whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me.” If we can be kind even to one person, it is a starting point and a humble response to the suffering and pain of the whole planet. Kindness is capable of saving humanity—Ferrucci believes kindness is already saving humanity.
Kindness is a resource, an energy in the world. We need to pay more attention to it, find ways of evoking it and harnessing it, teaching it, publicizing it, turning it into a fashion!
Ferrucci concludes in his book, “Strange perhaps, and paradoxical, but true: The most sensible way to further our own interests, to find our own freedom, and to glimpse our own happiness, is often not to pursue these goals directly, but to look after other people’s interests, to help other people be freer from fear and pain, to contribute to their happiness. Ultimately, it is all very simple. There is not choice between being kind to others and being kind to ourselves. It is the same thing.”
Jesus said, “Love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. You need to love all three. Jesus didn’t say, love God or neighbor or yourself. It is all interconnected and related.
In another story from the East, God wants to reward a man for his exceptional kindness and purity of intention. God calls an angel and tells him to go to the man and ask him what he wants. He can have whatever his heart desires. The angel went to the man and gave him the good news. The man’s reply was, “Oh, but I am already happy. I have all that I want.” The angel told that man, “I can’t go back to God and tell God you said no thank you. God wants to give you a gift. I really think you better accept.” The man thought awhile and finally said, “Alright, I would like all who come in contact with me to feel well. However, I do not want to know anything about it.” The angel went back to God with the request and from that time on, wherever the man went, wilted plants bloomed again, sick animals grew strong again, ill people were healed, unhappy people were relieved of their burdens, those at war made peace, and those with problems solved them. All of this happened without the man knowing anything. There was never any pride or expectation. Unknowing and content, the kind man walked the roads of the world, spreading joy to everyone.
In the words of Paul, according to Eugene Peterson in The Message:
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut. Doesn’t have a swelled head. Doesn’t force itself on others. Isn’t always, “me first.” Doesn’t fly off the handle. Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always look for the best, never looks back. But keeps going to the end.
Go after a life of love and kindness as if your life depended on it because it does!
Gracious and holy God,
Thank you, God, for laughter and joy and our love for life. Thank you for people who help us to find our joy and love of life. Thank you for this beautiful land, and the people we love. Thank you for music and words that inspire us. Thank you for another day to experience it all!
We sometimes get bogged down by stuff. We get stuck. Help us out of our stuff and our stuckness. Give us the nudge we need to move us off dead-center if we need it. Give us courage when we need it. Give us patience when we need it. Give us love, the gift of love.
Hear our prayers, those spoken and unspoken. Take all our prayers into your love and care. And then inspire us, encourage us, enable us to live creatively into the answers…the answers for peace in the world, the end of violence and prejudice. We pray for the people of Haiti and all other places in the world where people are suffering. We pray for the hungry, the homeless, the grieving, the unemployed. We pray inspiration and joy and wisdom and hope. We pray that our dreams will never die. In the name of the one who taught us to dream and hope and love… Jesus who prays for us and with us….Our Father……